Monday, November 3, 2008

I want your opinion

So I need some opinions here. KJ and I have a little bit of a differing opinion on something and I am wondering what your thoughts are on the subject. This is something that we have been talking about for a few months now and just can't decide.
You see my son (who is 5!!!!), wants to grow his hair out long (past his shoulders). He really likes the way it looks on the adult men who wear it that way and also on some kids we have seen with long hair (boy kids, there were a few playing soccer on other teams.) KJ is of the opinion that it won't hurt him and it is something he has wanted to do for awhile now and not forgotten about. KJ says it is his hair and he is old enough to have a say in it and that since it won't hurt him or anything we should let him.
I on the other hand think he is 5 for goodness sakes and I very much enjoy his clean cut preppy looks. I know as he gets older he will have more of say in his appearance (and I less, as long as it is not effecting negatively on his witness or school work, which is a rule KJ and I had said we would follow when it came to the kids' appearance) but I am not ready for long hair yet. So, should I get over it and let my 5 year old grow his hair out or should I continue to have it cut so it looks cute, more age appropriate, and more in keeping with societal norms (at least ours/mine). Or is it selfish and vain on my part???
So let me have your opinions!


Joy said...

I wish that you would not of told us who thinks what because now I feel like I am siding with someone! ;) Honest that I am not siding...I just have thoughts! ;)
I would definitely say let him grow it out if that is what he is asking to do. Why? In the grand scheme of life this is a small thing that does not need to become a "battle" and it is a small thing that HJ will remember in years to come of a place where you were willing to give a little. I think that giving a little here he will be able to see that you are willing to work with him and find a middle ground with him in the small and big things. Does that make sense? I definitely think that it is okay to mourn the hair and the losing control of your little one though!!! ;) I do think that it is okay for him to make decisions about his body that are not a huge deal in the long run. I think that even though he is 5 this also teaches him that he can come to you and ask questions that you will honestly consider. This could come in handy as a teenager! ;) Just my rambling thoughts!!!

Anonymous said...

there is nothing that I could say that would even compare to Joy...I completely agree with her. It's kind of like your kid throwing a fit in the store, is that really a reflection of your parenting? And in the same way, does letting your child have long hair make you look bad either?
You can't worry about what people think, but rather the memories that you are making with your little man.
I've just had my head upside down in yoga for the past hour so if this doesn't make sense it could be bc all the blood is rushing back into parts of my body where it should be :)

Are We There Yet?? said...

Okay...I will be the differing opinion.

I would never let my boys do it. I feel like I have some say-so in what they look/dress like as long as I'm footing the bill. While my boys are in my house they will have short hair.

Jennifer said...

I totally agree with Laura. Shae and I will not allow our boys to grow out their hair. I feel it's sloppy, which really isn't a good reason, but you are the parents and what you say goes, no matter what it is. I would continue my opinion about compromise in parenting and why our society is in a moral decline, but I will spare you! But, then again, I am a bit of a hard a__.

Nashvillians Now said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nashvillians Now said...

Thanks you all for your honest thoughts on HJ's hair. I am still not sure that I could let him do it. It is an issue with my pride in having such a cute clean cut kid. I will be working on that. In the mean time, it is not something we are fighting over or anything at home. HJ mentions it occasionally but does not whine or fuss about it at all. We just tell him we are still thinking about it. However, when it comes down to it, I don't think HJ has the patience to grow his hair out or deal with the hair in his eyes and face. He just can't sit or stand still for any amount of time. Also, I don't think he would like holding still for me to brush it and such like I do for CG. CG's hair gets so many knots and tangles it takes awhile to brush out after a shower and in the morning (I am constantly having to use detangling spray and leave in conditioner). I am not sure HJ would like that. So my plan for now is to just ignore the issue until it goes away!
Thanks again!